Valentine’s day is tomorrow and for many it means pulling out all the stops to show their love to their special someone(s). Love means a lot of things to a lot of people and we all show it differently.
As a young girl, my view on love was the fairy tale ever after kind. You know, the knight or handsome man swoops in and you live happily ever after. As a teenager, I became more skeptic of love. Let’s be clear that I mean boy/girl kind of love. I knew the parental love because my parents were nurturing and it was evident they loved me (I of course, doubted that as a teenager and didn’t come to appreciate it until I had children of my own). I wasn’t sure that love at first sight existed nor did I think the fairy tail endings happened.
As a young adult, love in my mind wasn’t worth it. Falling in love was pretty easy. It was the pick up after it failed that hurt. I was picking up those pieces when I met Jeff, a tall silent but steady man. I was adamant that we just be friends explaining that I just got out of a relationship and just wasn’t ready for anything. So we started hanging out talking, laughing, enjoying life and
becoming best friends. We hadn’t been engaged long when we were in a severe car accident. Jeff was in the hospital for days after the accident and I was in a cast from my ankle to thigh. We talked on the phone every day and even on the day he was leaving the hospital. Late afternoon of that day, I heard a knock at the back door and went to answer it, it was Jeff. He had used all of his change to hire a cab (his car being totaled) to go from his home to mine to see me. That spoke volumes to me! Like true romance … and yes, love. I had an inkling that this was the happily every after kind of love.
We eloped (I wasn’t in agreement with the view my pastor had of how our marriage would end) and three years later welcomed our first daughter into our lives. We followed with two more children. Love changes a bit when you have children as the focus isn’t on each other as much as it is on the children. Letting those little beings know they are loved and preparing them for the world outside of your home. Then as those children grow you become busy with all of their outside activities. We still made an attempt to have a date night just so we would know how to communicate without the kids in between. Those same kids start leaving for college, jobs out of state, or moving out. Now you’re back to where you started …. you and your best friend.
I’m not here to tell you our marriage is perfect. It’s not. Marriage is work. It’s hard work and you BOTH have to be willing to give. I know I am not an easy person to live with (surprise face for those that know me well) and Jeff will tell you that (so will our children). When I ask for something to be done, I want it done then not when you feel like doing it. Let’s talk about morning breath .. or the hair?! Like no one looks like those people in the movies with the hair and face perfect! And snoring … no not me …. whoever thought it could be so loud! To be honest, I no longer look like I did when we got married and neither does Jeff but that’s okay. In our eyes, the other is still
beautiful/handsome and we see more of what’s inside than those outside wrappings. Love is beautiful that way. It helps us see the ones we love for who they truly are inside and out.
Note …. I’m also a realist in knowing that not all marriages will make it and for a variety of reasons. In those instances, love yourself and know that you are loved! Tomorrow celebrate you and keep moving forward!
So as we celebrate Valentine’s Day remember, “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails…..” 1 Corinthians 13:4-8
Happy early Valentine’s Day!